I keep hitting the Back button in hopes that my life will go back, too.

I'm currently driving up to bellingham... Moving up there for the new school year, and I had a revelation. I've been so damn whiny and just fucking weak lately, and it's disgusting. So I've made myself a new ethos: Be a fucking force of nature. Don't let anything stand in the way of accomplishing the things that you strive for. Never compromise yourself, and never waver.

Sometimes I think I have absolutely no idea who I am... And I'm afraid to find out.

I finally figured out how to use ljtxt. : D And I just ate a bunch of chocolate chip cookie dough, and now~ my tummy hurts. You are SO welcome for this pointless post. : D

I am now officially 21 years old!
At midnight exactly, Garrett handed me a beer and said happy birthday... and my mom made me get up and dance around with her. <.< Weird people.

AND MY RUKI-CHU MADE THIS FOR ME!!


Um, best E-Card ever? I think yes.

And we also agreed that GHB is the only way Ruka ever gets laid. : D



And this beer tastes disgusting.

THE END! : D

But at least I had the sense to bring my laptop? D:
Who doesn't love an 8am "final", set up only to watch boring ass presentations?

Just so you know, Professor Yu... your class was terrible, and I did not learn a single thing. And I will never take another class from you again. EVER AGAIN.

And I don't care what anyone else says, Thoreau sucks dick. Hardcore.


BUT!! Redeeming factor? In about~ nine-ish hours, my mommy will be here to pick me up from school and take me home for the summer!! : D

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDD most importantly~ in four-ish (I still argue that it's three) days, I will be in Indiana. :333333333333333333333 And it's going to be freaking~~~ amazing. I'm vry excited~~~~ jklfjdlsfjdslkfjdsl <3333








Also, I only got three hours of sleep... and I am vry tired. D: Which is making this "class" so... so much worse. I should have brought my gameboy. D:

I'm so scared, now... fucking terrified;
Petrified.
Because the ground I stand on is unsteady;
Shifting.
Because I live a dichotomy;
Because trust is transitory.
Because the ground is unsteady;
And I where I stand is not always where you stand.

Because I am at sea without an anchor.
Lost and adrift, and subject to your ever shifting waves.
Because I am the glass half full turned over;
Wasted to the dirt.

Because I am the mouse on the wheel;
Running towards a goal I'll never reach.
The oasis on the edge of my vision;
Disappearing once close.

And yet I keep running, I'll always keep running.
Until I'm dead.

Confessions:

1. Sometimes I cry so hard that I throw up.

2. Sometimes, or often... I hate myself more than I hate any other person in the entire world.

3. Almost every night before I fall asleep, I wonder how much easier it would be to just... stop trying, to just give up. And I fantasize my own death.










God, I'm so lonely.

So I know~ that pictures weren't exactly allowed during the show, but security didn't mind for the first couple songs, so I snapped as many as I could. :3

( Click~ for pictures~~ )

So~~~~ instead of doing homework, I decided to waste my time combining two of my greatest loves.
AoixRuki...
and THE LEGEND OF ZELDA.

Behold my shittastic photoshopping skillz. Yes, with a z.



Haha, I fail so hard...